Is low self esteem the root that poisons our lives? (How to eradicate the lies in our heads)
Please take your time in chewing this Recipe very slowly so you can digest it well, and get the most out of it :).
Low self-esteem is not the root, but it is rooted in what causes all of our emotional pain (loneliness, fear, anxiety. etc.), as well as a diminished productivity, and an over all -- "less than a full" life.
- We are not born with low self-esteem, our life circumstances have shaped our brain into thinking the way we think.
- When we don’t see ourselves “good enough” we are stunted in all areas of life, (some more, some less). Our fear of rejection and potential shame at the thought of failing is simply unbearable. We feel constricted at our best, and paralyzed at our worst. We are defeated before we start trying. Because life requires courage, the feeling of inadequacy chokes our ability to step out trusting that we are not going to get hurt.
- The great news is that we have absolute power at anytime to make a conscious choice to address the lies and the negative thoughts in our heads that are causing us to feel this way.
And here is how:
Instead of living in survival mode/by attaching meaning and worth to our lives by:
- Trying to please everyone.
- Working as hard as possible to prove that we are worthy.
- Attempt to fulfill our lives by functioning well on a professional level while unable to function on a personal relationship level; therefore isolating ourselves in fear of intimacy. (Oftentimes devoting ourselves to the rescue, care and love of pets, animal welfare, volunteer efforts). Important side note: those are fantastic endeavors, helpful and a blessing to enhance our lives, just not a substitute to fulfill our need for human connection and intimacy.
- Sacrificing ourselves to save/vindicate others who suffered (like we did).
- Living in fear of judgment because all we do is judge and compare.
We can finally choose to:
- Look at the root of our low self esteem (or a false too high one: arrogance, grandiosity, superiority complex).
- PProceed to eradicate it.
Once free from the false beliefs, we can start fresh by empowering ourselves with new truer thoughts.
Here are some examples:
- I was born good enough and I am perfectly good enough.
- The people that hurt me felt like they were not good enough themselves.
- I choose to forgive them and be free.
- I can do anything I want because I am liberated from the fear of making mistakes that will cause others not to like me, to reject me, and to hurt me.
- I don’t care if others don’t like me because I like myself and I have a lot to offer to the world, so I am going to put it out there.
- The more I take chances by putting my best efforts out, the more I will grow and the more my talents and my true confidence will grow.
- Fear is a thing of the past because my job in life is not to protect or save anymore. I will now live to step out in faith, taking chances, trying, and experimenting so that I can learn and expand myself.
- I believe that I will grow from thinking and living in this new way, and that others will benefit from my endeavors as well.
- I will not fear people’s judgment because if I do my best I can be proud of myself.
- I will enjoy life and all the people around me by being truly present because I stopped worrying about what they perceive me to be.
If and when I fail:
- I will be tough and accept that not everything I attempt to do is going to be perfect, or that it is always what is right for me; and that there is something better or a better way to get there.
- I will learn something I did not know before, get up, do better, and keep going until I succeed.
- I will reject, dismiss and discard ALL SELF PITY. No pity parties will be allowed in my house. Sadness is a welcome temporary guest, but does not live here.
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." (Author Anais Nin).
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." (Irish Dramatist, George Bernard Shaw).
"YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO SET ANOTHER GOAL OR DREAM A NEW DREAM.”
(Author and Scholar, C.S. Lewis)
P.S. Thank you for reading this recipe! I hope that you try it, that your roots become healthy and that you grow stronger and stronger. Please share this recipe with someone you love! :)
Cheers & Love!